So I've never blogged before, and wasn't sure where to begin. Then I thought for a little while, what differentiates me from your average blogger? I live in dreary Scotland and hate the weather as much as anyone North of Yorkshire does. I am currently unemployed. I live at my desk, glued to my computer and as I spend my days trawling through jobs and applications, rewriting cover letters and researching companies... my chat really is pretty poor.
But then an idea came to me. Well, it was more a little niggling thought in the back of my mind, that as I sat and stared at the blank computer screen, crept all over my brain and was the only thing I could think about.
Maisie.
She sounds like a lamb.
She looks like a badly shorn sheep (I will come back to this).
She 100% speaks human words (I may one day come back to this...but it still chills me to my core.)
She is smarter than I am.
She is smarter than everyone
She is quite literally invincible.
She is a siamese cat.
I have come to realise she is the difference between leading a relatively normal life, and not; and I have been spending way too much time with her. I know this needs to stop.
At first I thought it was ok that 13 of the last 15 photos I have taken on my phone are of her. Then I thought it was ok that we spend at least 7 hours of the day snuggling. Then I convinced myself it was fine that every time she climbs up on my lap, she licks my eyebrow in adoration. It was sadly, when I attempted to convince others that our relationship was normal, that I was made to feel very ashamed of my behaviour as a human.
See, I thought it was all ok, you know...the bond between an animal and a human, like: Willy and Jesse, Andre the see lion and little Tina Majorino...and even the wee criminal monkey Dodger and his chum Eva in Monkey Trouble. But I guess I am not 5, it isn't 1994 and my weirdly gremlin like kitty isn't what you'd call a hollywood animal actor.
Oh no. I really don't want to end up like that crazy cat woman on the Simpsons.
So, this will be my first blog. A tiny introduction to the part of my life that is weird, and wrong, and quite hard to handle when I think about the type of relationship we have.
To summarise....
I live in Scotland.
My cat is weird.
I wish it was still the 1990's.
I need to get a job.
